How to Start Out as a Mentor

Truly something wonderful has happened to you. Someone has approached you and asked you to be their mentor! 

You are stunned that someone is aspiring to be as good as you. You are delighted that out of everyone on the planet a mentee has seen something in you that they enjoy. You are thrilled to know that you have been noticed. Noticed and asked for help. What you do from this moment on could change the course of someone’s entire future…

Now what?

Whether this is the scenario that brought you here, or whether you are thinking of becoming a mentor to someone else, this guide will help you to understand what your next steps are. 

1. Stop and Think

Stop. I’m sure you are thrilled with the thought of imparting your knowledge to someone else. But stop. Before you rush into it you really need to think.
First, consider the weight of the task before you. This is no light-hearted matter. What you teach this person could change their lives and the lives of their families. Are you ready to shoulder that kind of responsibility? Once you have agreed to this, failing at it could change their perspective of asking a mentor, which could prevent them from being all they can be. Once you have agreed, you are going to need to commit to seeing it through as much as you are able.
Second, consider the requirements of the task before you. You are going to have to teach. You are going to have to use questions to draw your mentee too. You need to be able to give feedback, communicate effectively, draw on your own experiences. Many of these skills can be learned as you go forth on the mentoring journey, but they will be needed. Are you willing to learn and improve on these skills?
Third, do you have the time?

2. Look at your Schedule

It would be unfair on the mentee if you said yes, then never had time for them.

You need to take some time, serious time, to look honestly at your life and see if you can take on a mentee. You might be sitting reading this thinking but isn’t it only an hour a week? Yes, and yet, no. 

You may only agree to talk to the mentee for an hour a week, but it might take an hour to plan a lesson. Another hour to learn a skill that can help you help them. Another hour when they call you out of the blue for help with understanding something. Another hour researching materials that might be useful. How long have you already spent researching how to be a mentor? Time reading this counts! 

Be honest with yourself. Failing to pay attention to the time that you have and the time that you are willing to spend on mentoring can lead to having to cancel meetings. Your mentee can start to feel neglected. They will not be receiving the knowledge that they desired deeply enough to reach out to you. 

Only when you are sure you can accommodate their needs do you arrange to discuss the situation with the mentee. 

3. Arrange to Meet

This doesn’t have to be face to face. In this day and age, you can discuss the situation in all manner of ways. Here are a few suggestions:

• Coffee shop, restaurant or bar. All are relaxed meeting places to help both parties feel more at ease.
• Telephone. Talking on the phone is convenient and easy to do. However, most people prefer to see a face when discussing deep matters. 
• Online conference. This is the modern way of doing things. It also means your mentee can be anywhere in the world. Arrange a time to meet up online and talk face to face without being nearby. 

The point is you need to take that step to arrange a time and place/way to meet. Don’t wait for the mentee to ask, an invitation will make them feel more appreciated. 

Even if you have no intention of becoming a mentor, it is well received if you contact the mentee to let them know. Leaving them hanging with no reply can be very discouraging.

4. Prepare Questions

You don’t just need to know what they want to learn and what their goals are. Consider also learning their personality so you know how best to teach them. This is easier than it sounds, a few good questions used well can tell you loads. 

The usual questions will include things like:

• What is your final goal?
• Where do you plan to be this time next year?
• What is it about me that made you think I was the one for the job?
• Any skills that you really want to concentrate on?

To get to know them as people, you might consider some 30-second questions. (30-second questions are quick-fire questions. They have to respond with the first thing that comes to mind. Out of the heart, the mouth speaks. It is a way to understand them more as a person.)

• What’s the last book you read?
• How do you spend a free weekend?
• Would you be friends with yourself?
• What do you consider unique to you?
• Why are manhole covers round?

Okay, I know what you are thinking. The first few questions, sure. They can tell me quite a bit about a person. But why are manhole covers round?! Not everyone knows the real answer for this because they never think about it, which makes it a good question to use to see how their minds work. One sees all kinds of answers to this question. Doorways to the fairy kingdom have to be circular in shape to maintain the flow of magic. The sides are closer and easier to grab, so if you fall in you can better save yourself. Because they are. Three different answers, three distinct personalities. What kind of answer would your mentee come up with?

5. Make an Agreement

If, after discussing things with your future mentee, you agree to go forward with a mentor-mentee relationship you need to make an agreement. This is not a signed document with terms and conditions, nothing quite so formal. But it is important nonetheless. 

The agreement is for both sides. It is a chance for you both to make your position clear and come to an understanding. Making this kind of agreement at the start of the relationship prevents issues and hurt at a later date. 

Here are some things you might want to include:

• Boundaries.
  • What is on and off-limits in conversation? Finances? Family? Mental health? What about physical activities? Hugs? Handshakes? What times is it not appropriate to call? Turn up at the workplace or stay away?
• Goals.
  • The types of goals that get set, the number of goals. Milestones. Goal and milestone rewards. 
• Practical guidelines.
  • I expect this from you. What do you expect of me? Homework?
• Meeting times
  • How often. When and where? 

A common practice is for the mentor and the mentee to have a journal or notebook that they dedicate to the mentor-mentee relationship journey. In this, they will record all goals, milestones, and notes of importance. It is a good idea to write the agreement you make together in the front of the journal should you need to refer back to it at a later date. 

6. Stick to It

Once your agreement has been made and times set for the meetings, it is important to do everything in your power to stick to it. Lead by example. Make every meeting. Be prepared. Be organized. Be conversational during the meeting, but also be a good listener. Help your mentee to work towards their goals. Provide the tools they need to achieve them.
As a mentor, it is up to you to do all you can to empower, encourage and guide your mentee. It is up to the mentee to act on what they learn, work towards meeting the goals and reach out to fulfill their dreams. This may take a lot of encouragement, inspiration, and passion from you, but it will be worth it.

7. Enjoy the Journey as a Mentor

To enter into the worlds of mentors and mentees is to enter into a challenge. Yet, it is one of the most rewarding things that you can be doing. 

Take the time to enjoy the journey with your mentee. Celebrate every success with them, help them after every failure. Become true friends as you tackle the adventure together. By the end of it, not only will you have succeeded in helping someone change their lives for the better, but you will also have made a good friend.